Sunday, October 7, 2007

Mr. Publix Mission No. 1

For the grocery store, it was a high-speed chase. Mr. Publix dashed at a runaway shopping cart, his arch nemeses, at a record fifteen miles per hour. It was too fast. It slammed into the curb at the end of the parking lot. He lunged for it, but was pulled back by a commanding voice resounding over the parking lot.
It was Donna, an old-timer agent at Publix. She knew the tricks of the trade, and knew how to pick off the baddies. Mr. Publix looked at the shopping cart, and shouted heroically
"We're not through with this battle, fiend!" He then walked coolly over to his superior.
"You're going under cover." said Donna. "Flip your apron over your head so the people at the counter can't see it."
Mr. Publix followed the order.
"Now, do you have a dollar?"
Mr. Publix reached into his pocket, and grabbed a dollar. "What do you need me to do?" he asked discretely.
"See Andy? He's our man inside. Meet with him at the checkpoint at the front counter. I need you to then offer the man behind the counter a dollar bill, and see if he will give you a lottery ticket."
Mr. Publix understood his new mission. He nodded and took his dollar to the counter where Andy stood. Andy was gone in a flash. If there's one thing to be said, it's that the guy had stealth. Mr. Publix handed the bill to the guy behind the counter. He looked suspicious, like the kind of guy that would sell lottery tickets to minors, like Mr. Publix. Mr. Publix asked finally, as he handed the man the single.
"One lottery ticket, please."
"I need your ID."
Mr. Publix gave a furtive galnce at Donna, still within sight. She nodded for him to continue. He pulled his driver's permit from his pocket, and handed it to him.
The man scanned the identification quickly, and handed it back to Mr. Publix with his dollar bill as he said "You're too young."
The man checked out. Maybe not all of them would. Mr. Publix walked back to Donna.
"I had just gotten word from the head. He says we need to run... checks."
Mr. Publix nodded, and went to take care of some unfinished business. "CAAAAART!!!"

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