A+ for a B effort!!!

Okay, well, maybe it's not something I sould be proud of, but considering the circumstances... I'm pretty proud.
It started 8/28. My history teacher gave us a partner assignment. The objective is to try to be an archaeologist 12,000 years into the future digging up artifacts from today, and trying to guess what they are. It seemed easy until we were told that we couldn't use the ritght answer... kinda defeats the purpose of actually being an arcaeologist, but...
So, my partner and I were given a stop-watch... how many uses can you think of for a stopwatch that doesn't include, well, a stop-watch? There weren't many we could think of. Then I realized that it didn't fit on my head, it couldn't fit over a five-year-olds head. So, my partner and I concluded that this "artifact" was obviously used by pygmies, a.k.a. "homo minimus."
Later, we concluded that the pygmies used this device to "wrangle and domesticate snakes." Yes, that's right. They were snake-wranglin', wrasslin', ridin' pygmies. Yeehaw!!!
We established that they worshipped the anaconda as cheif snake-god, and whichever man was courageous enough to mount such a beast was considered blessed and sacred. Now, we built a whole ancient culture... based... on... a stop-watch. Pretty sweet!
My friend Adam was having some trouble too. Given a magnifying glass on which to build his imaginary civilization, he was very perplexed. He finally got it though. He decided that his race of people worshipped a deity named "Tofusia." He ruled the land of the Tofunians. Yes, tofu. This had nothing to do with the magnifying glass until he mentioned that the revered deity could concentrate his mystic powers through the lense in order to turn his victims into clam chowder.
His people later enslaved my race of snake-ridin' pygmies, and forced them to use their snakes to plow their vast fields of tofu. ;)
Adam and I got best in class on that project. Go us!!